Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my poor anus
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
