i don't like sucking hair
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
what day is it and did you see me today?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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