babies were throwing up all over the place
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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