my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
