I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's shark week go big or go home
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
