Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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