she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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