i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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