His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
