You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
