I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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