Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
