I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
