seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
