can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
