yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
