I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I need to stop coming to work sober
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
