Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
