I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
