Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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