In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
