I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
