Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
