Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
