have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
