I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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