Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
