yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
