Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
