hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
