I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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