is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
