You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
