I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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