my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
