I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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