What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
