True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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