So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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