how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
