There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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