is your mom at the bar?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
