would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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