If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
