Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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