these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
