i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
