He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
