Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
