my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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