I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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